As much as we all love this crazy sport, occasionally the interpersonal dynamics can make you wish you’d stayed home and not bothered to come to the courts. This topic came up with my recent Bootcamp Breakthrough participants and I wanted to give you some practical solutions to this common problem.
Your Opponents Won’t Hit the Ball to You
I can’t say how many times I have a group of people practically begging to get on the court with me, and then, as soon as the game starts, they hit every single ball to my partner. It happens all the time with players of all levels. At the very least, it’s moderately annoying and makes for a pretty boring game. Some people (are you one of them?) can get really worked up when they are in this situation. So what can you do other than fume?
#1) Recognize the Honor.
They don’t feel as confident playing to you as to your partner…
Congratulations. You’re not the weakest player on the court.
#2) Recognize the Short-Sightedness.
People who do this are clearly more committed to winning than they are to improving their game. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have much patience for that type of person. I am so passionate about helping the people who DO want to get better, that I try not to spend an ounce of energy on the people who are dead-set on winning at all costs.
#3) Get Clear On Your Goals.
Why did you come out to play today? Was it to have fun? Was it to get exercise? Improve your game? Socialize? The vast majority of those things you can accomplish whether they hit the ball to you or not.
#4) Start Out Subtle.
If you haven’t already, share my ultra-popular etiquette article with your club. Post it to facebook, send it by email, or print a copy to post at the courts. If it’s already been shared you might add a polite note saying “Hey everyone, I thought we could all use a little reminder about the points in this email to keep things fun and enjoyable for all.”
#5) Then Be Blunt.
If you just can’t seem to get the message across through indirect routes, at the end of a game where you never saw the ball except to serve, you might try saying something like this:
“Hey guys/ladies, thanks for the game. You know, I would have loved to see the ball more. Were you purposely avoiding hitting to me?” (Of course, you already know they were, but it always helps to give them the benefit of the doubt.)
You’ll most likely receive a huge compliment here, probably some version of “Heck yes we were! Every time we give you the ball we never see it again!” or “You bet we were. When you hit the ball, you slow it down and it always makes me miss my shot.”
Occasionally, maybe it’ll be more of a critique of your partner than a compliment to you, but no worries either way.
#6) Offer a Solution
This is a good time to say, “You know, I read this article online by The Pickleball Guru, and what he pointed out is that in situations like this, you can either focus on winning the game or on improving your skills. What do you say if next time we play we don’t focus so much on winning and we focus on improving our skills?” You might even add, “I’m happy to give you a few pointers if you’d like…”
Now of course, this all depends on the delivery.
If you’ve already got a reputation as being overly critical or “a pickleball snob” you might have some trust to gain first.
If you’re already pissed off and fuming at the end of the game, it’s probably not a good day to bring it up. Find a way to cool down and then approach it with the player/s during some downtime.
#7) Don’t Be as Bad As They Were – Play Smart Pickleball™
Now, if you’re going to go so far as to have this conversation with them, YOU have to make sure that you’re not just using it as an excuse to get them to hit the ball to you so you can kick THEIR butt. If they are going to respect your request and start hitting you the ball, the least you can do it is make it a good match.
DON’T go for the put-away shots, even if you are drooling. Find another shot to play to keep the ball in play. Any time you are playing against weaker players, make your goal to win all your points on their mistakes, not on your “amazing” shots. (Because, no offense, but your “amazing” shots probably wouldn’t be so amazing if you were playing against players better than yourself.)
Recall your goals for the day. Exercise? Improve Your Game? Socialize? Have fun?
Figure out how you can do more of that even if they keep hitting every single shot to your partner.
YOU are responsible for your experience on the court, not anybody else, so make it happen.
(End of rah-rah self-empowerment speech. Carry on playing.)?
Loved playing with you Prem. I thought you were the most observational player I have ever met.
For me as a 4.5/5.0 player often playing with 4.0’s socially, I have found a few strategies that will get me the ball more often.
1. Start doing jumping jacks in the middle of a dink rally or put your paddle on the ground. It usually gets a good laugh.
2. Bait players to dink straight across from you by “showing” your line by hugging the middle of the court and give the appearance of a wide open ally. (You better be mobile enough to get there if they do hit it down the line.)
3. Stand 2-3 feet farther back than you normally would. Standing off the kitchen seems to invite more action your way.
4. I try and educate many of my partners I play with and say, “I don’t care about winning… In going to hit to the stronger player so I can get better.” Hopefully my partner will remember that when I play against them in the next match against me.
On the plane now headed back to rainy Oregon.
-Matt McDonough
Matt pleasure was all mine.
You are an incredible player. Hope to see you soon in the pro division
Keep shining my friend
Well said!
I think there is another approach to this, when I start seeing less shots it gives me the opportunity to poach, or practice switching with my partner. I have gotten real effective at poaching.
Spot on Prem. I wish all our USAPA ambassadors saw this article. As a USAPA ambassador my first obligation
is not to win but promote this sport. When I teach it is to get developing players to feel really good about themselves and help them get better.
Of course if practicing for a tournament or in a tournament the story is different. But come on, hit your best
shots at guys like you and change up your game say to the soft game or even a give away to the developing
players. In most situations as coach MO use to say “have fun, it is only a game.”
How about the OTHER side of the coin. I am in what I call PB middle class. Solid 3.5. When I play the lesser skilled folks I don’t see the ball that often. Not a big deal I don’t have to win and just pick one or two shots to practice no matter where I am on the court. But when I play on the challenge court against 4/4.5 *I* see at least 2/3 of the shots. It does help me improve my game but it makes me more of a liability for the higher skilled partner. Any suggestion for that? My partner either sees extremely difficult shots or has to be ready to “eat” shots coming off of MY mistakes. Should I improvise on your comments and say something like “I enjoyed the game, good work out, but I think {my partner’s name} got kind of bored.